State Visit Gifts

Queen's final visit to Australia: 'STrewth! Chack anatha prawn on the barbie Phil..'. Charles 'Apparently, the Aussies insisted on a few conditions..'

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Things I love about Powell River...

'Couldn't you think of anything to say to Herb and Mary? They were nice enough to invite us over.'

'Next!'

"She looks just like in your photos."

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

Stockwell's day

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

Mistaken identity.

'Hey hon, everyone and their dog is here!'

Piorities in Minnesota.

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

You're in a terrible state, Al. Don't pick on New Jersey, doctor.

'We need another week to do things and another month to undo things.'

'This morning I was the second largest pumpkin at the State Fair...'

You've got company.

Hospital Visit

Swing by won't you?

'So Grandma's arrived then.'

'Let's arbitrate.'

Now Entering Wyoming (or one of those other rectangular states that are out west someplace).

'Boy, this is a no-nonsense kind of place, isn't it?'

"She'll be riding six white horses when she comes. Stop. She'll be riding six white horses when she comes. Stop. She'll be riding six white horses, she'll be riding six white horses, she'll be riding six white horses when she comes. Stop." "That's just like your mother."

"He's a distant relative on a visit."

"It's so nice to be home, mum, and have unrestricted use of the telephone again"

"I'm going to take your blood pressure, so try to relax and not think about what a high reading might mean for your chances of living a long, healthy life."

'Farington, our parent company is coming to visit us, so clean up your room.'

Outingpatient