State Stereotype Fan Pillows

Alabama Traffic Jam

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

Hay Rides $10

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

Piorities in Minnesota.

"Help! It's a sprawling epic!"

"Sorry, Zak, since paintball aint bin invented yet, looks like you bin shot!"

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

You're in a terrible state, Al. Don't pick on New Jersey, doctor.

'You're going to have to stay confined to the bunkhouse for a week.'

Gunswinger

Plumbers Workwear

Cotton candy

"This cream puff was owned by a little old lady who only settled on Sundays."

"I reckon we've never met, but maybe you recognize my brother from last year's cattle drive!"

Jerry Brown's Veto

'Honestly Fred, we're only here for the day trip.'

'Isn't that silly, Fluffy. The cowboy is talking to his horse.'

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

"I don't think the world is ready yet for a cowboy impersonator, Dolores."

They knew it was just a matter of time before he spilled the beans.

"Looks like the Nebr. GOP Governor's race is underway. . ."

"They don't really say 'mooo'. It's more of a low, doleful, 'uuummmmggghhh'. Go ahead, try it."

"He's good, but he's no Donald Trump."

'This town ain't big enough for the both of us.'

A simple guide to political right philosophy

"I just want to apologize beforehand if you miss."

'It's just a shallow little stream, you said. It doesn't empty into the ocean, you said. Go ahead...cross it, you said...'