State Line Collector T-Shirts

Motorist sees a sign at state border reading 'Welcome, Missouri Loves Company'.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Nuts to you, too."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'This must be heaven, because you sure look like an angel....'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'Do you come here often?'

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

OMG UR HOT

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Try his land line.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

Orthopaedist

"I wonder what this was for."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"'You're the reason I crossed the road'? Really?! Is that your best pick-up line?"

"Fancy crashing at my pad later, babe?"

'How old is this vase?'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

'You had me at hell.'