State Line Collector T-Shirts

Motorist sees a sign at state border reading 'Welcome, Missouri Loves Company'.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Nuts to you, too."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'This must be heaven, because you sure look like an angel....'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'Do you come here often?'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

OMG UR HOT

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

'Try his land line.'

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"Fancy crashing at my pad later, babe?"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"'You're the reason I crossed the road'? Really?! Is that your best pick-up line?"

"I wonder what this was for."

Orthopaedist

'How old is this vase?'

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

'You had me at hell.'

'Did you just hear that? Scientist say we are now an endangered species and mating should be our top priority!'

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'