Stat Junkie Gifts

'Boys, the team statistician will now explain why our record of 23 wins and 59 losses is very, very good.'

"You're fired."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Occu-Pie Mars

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Neo-International Law

UK border controls relaxed.

She was warned. Nethertheless she persisted.

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Oligarchy

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

'If only every year was an election year.'

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

The Circular Logic of Fascism

Meet the Enemy

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Laughingstock

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

Taking Credit after Voting against Stimulus

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

Trump Poutine

G7 Summit Concern

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

Turkish Democracy

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

Mission Kinda Accomplished