Startup Sprinter Gifts

"Business has been so good that I can now pay you a salary...mom!"

"As a small business owner, she had developed a close relationship with UPS."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

6 Brothers Falafel

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

Go! Means NOW!

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

City Marathon.

'Ideas.com' desk with a 'come' tray and a 'gone' tray.

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

"Ambitions... to open an office on Mars. Kennedy Space Center."

"You were right. Building an online business empire is even more fun than playing games."

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll start to burn out"

"I have no toys just yet. I have a concept of a plan for toys...toys like no one has ever seen before."

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

"We'll analyze the only thing left to analyze: what people throw away."

"You're just gaming down there? Shouldn't you be issuing your first IPO for some billion dollar internet enterprise you've created?"

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

S.S.dot.com

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

"Never mind devices - we need to establish a 'bring your own funding' policy."

And elevator with 'up', 'down', and 'pitches' buttons

'Wow, my own desk!'

"Let's all sing our theme song: 'I Love Venture Capital'."

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

Recycling bin for 'short term business plans'

"All that's left is inventing something insanely popular!"