Startup Philosopher Gifts

"Our founders built this company on a certain set of principles. But since they're all dead and nobody wrote anything down, looks like we're screwed."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

Genius

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'