Starting Therapy Practice Gifts

"Textbook."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Couples' therapy

Window Treatment

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

"Client screamed, "I HATE SPRING!" and continued to have a meltdown. Diagnosis: Seasonal Affective Disorder."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

'We have three minutes left.'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."