Starting A New Veterinary Practice Gifts

Needles

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"Quick, start the car!"

Go! Means NOW!

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

'Where's my glove?'

Separation

'You idiot! I told you we should have learned to fly first before jumping out of that thing!'

"Are you sure you're not holding your breath?"

Dentist Training School.

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

Hanging out your shingle

"Brian's always had a good nose for business."

"Sick? You're not sick! The money I owe on my student loans... now that's sick!"

Infectious Disease Treatment Area

"Ambitions... to make it to the other side."

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

'Untapped world markets.'

"I've only just started practicing. I'm hoping the proceeds from these first few sessions will pay for a couch."

'Three words doc, why you should buy...dislocation,dislocation,dislocation.'

'Gentlemen, we make money the old-fashioned way, and it's got to STOP!'

'I quit the ice cream stand last year. Now I'm double dipping.'

My lemonade stand went belly-up. I need a bail-out.

'So, if this procedure is 100% safe, why do I need to sign this waiver?!'

'You're worried! What about me? I've never done this operation before!'

Sign on new dental practice reads 'open wide'.

Hickory, Dickory Doc...Pediatricians

'Doctor, you've removed leg bands before, haven't you?'

A dentist places his first tooth and his first dollar on the wall.

'Well, I'm AGAINST adding a course in business methods to the curriculum....