Starting A New Medical Practice Pillows

"Are you sure you're not holding your breath?"

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

'Where's my glove?'

Separation

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

Dentist Training School.

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

Hanging out your shingle

'Must you be so judgemental?'

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

"Sick? You're not sick! The money I owe on my student loans... now that's sick!"

All-Purpose attorney has all his specialisation running away from him

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

"I've only just started practicing. I'm hoping the proceeds from these first few sessions will pay for a couch."

'The computer links me to other doctors, so I can see how much they're charging for tests.'

'Where did you say the new anaesthetist trained?'

"I think that's the newest machine replacing the new machine we just installed."

Dentist: We drill/Fill/Bill.

'So, if this procedure is 100% safe, why do I need to sign this waiver?!'

'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'

Hickory, Dickory Doc...Pediatricians

'Well, I'm AGAINST adding a course in business methods to the curriculum....

A dentist places his first tooth and his first dollar on the wall.

'As an amnesiac, we'll slowly build memory. Now, pay me and then try to remember paying me.'

'I can't afford to marry you, Sara. You're my best patient.'

'The most precious thing a practitioner can accomplish, my boy, is to accumulate a devoted following of these damned hypochondriacs."

Needles