Starting A New Medical Practice Prints

"Are you sure you're not holding your breath?"

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

Separation

'Where's my glove?'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

Dentist Training School.

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

'Must you be so judgemental?'

Hanging out your shingle

"Sick? You're not sick! The money I owe on my student loans... now that's sick!"

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

All-Purpose attorney has all his specialisation running away from him

'My, that's some cavity' (words echo on)

"I've only just started practicing. I'm hoping the proceeds from these first few sessions will pay for a couch."

'Three words doc, why you should buy...dislocation,dislocation,dislocation.'

'The computer links me to other doctors, so I can see how much they're charging for tests.'

"I think that's the newest machine replacing the new machine we just installed."

'Where did you say the new anaesthetist trained?'

Dentist: We drill/Fill/Bill.

'So, if this procedure is 100% safe, why do I need to sign this waiver?!'

'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'

Sign on new dental practice reads 'open wide'.

A dentist places his first tooth and his first dollar on the wall.

'Well, I'm AGAINST adding a course in business methods to the curriculum....

Hickory, Dickory Doc...Pediatricians

'As an amnesiac, we'll slowly build memory. Now, pay me and then try to remember paying me.'

Needles

'I can't afford to marry you, Sara. You're my best patient.'