Starry-eyed Debater T-Shirts

"Even when public television deals with astronomy, one can detect a liberal tilt."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Marry me astronaut

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'We studied the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper today. May I have an ice cream cone?'

'Which one is named after me?'

"Something goes around something, but that's as far as I've got."

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

Moon and Star

"A study finds that there are billions of earth-like planets in our galaxy."

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

'Does the earth move for you as well.'

Planetary Science. What do we call the study of gas giants in space? Gastronomy.

Prisoner speech

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

World peace...Guns 'R' Us

"Hey, universe! I'm significant and I'm in charge!"

'Hmphh, your horoscope says you're going to have a date, with a Taurus, and I'm a Gemini.'

Big people always make a mess of things phobia: 'Let's play grownups. You'll be for busing and I'll be against it.'

'...You hear me? Control here, can you hear me?'

'I hate to break it to you, but moons don't grow up to be planets OR stars.'

'Since the universe is rapidly expanding, there's a lot more that we have to worry about now.'

"I can't decide if that was bad in a good way, good in a good way, good in a bad way, or bad in a bad way."

I have a confession. Sometimes I doubt that God is really a giant chicken. Eggnostics.

'Mr.Shumway here is our visiting ethicist.'

'That's one hell of a lawyer.'

'...and, if I don't get a place, I'll kill myself.'

"If thinking about sin is as bad as committing it, why not go ahead and commit it?"

Evangelical Political Influence

"Curses! You have thwarted my science-based argument by quoting scripture! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."

'When you've seen one star you've seen them all, but every episode of Bargain Hunt is different.'

The Milky Way Galaxy: 'You are here.'

'Kleinzweck's theory is that the Universe is expanding because it's INHALING.'