Starry-eyed Humorist T-Shirts

'I hate to break it to you, but moons don't grow up to be planets OR stars.'

'I'm going to take a shower - No peeking, now.'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

Marry me astronaut

"Ambitions... to open an office on Mars. Kennedy Space Center."

'Which one is named after me?'

"Something goes around something, but that's as far as I've got."

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

Vincent Van Og.

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"A study finds that there are billions of earth-like planets in our galaxy."

Moon and Star

'Does the earth move for you as well.'

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'...You hear me? Control here, can you hear me?'

'Hmphh, your horoscope says you're going to have a date, with a Taurus, and I'm a Gemini.'

"Hey, universe! I'm significant and I'm in charge!"

'Since the universe is rapidly expanding, there's a lot more that we have to worry about now.'

'...and, if I don't get a place, I'll kill myself.'

'When you've seen one star you've seen them all, but every episode of Bargain Hunt is different.'

"Wow, that thing is bright! Glad we wore our sunglasses!"

"The map says to take a right at that planetary dumpster fire."

The Milky Way Galaxy: 'You are here.'

Ashton Kutcher

Obscure Constellations

"If we came here in a faster-than-light spaceship, shouldn't it be dark out?"

Rosario Dawson

'Kleinzweck's theory is that the Universe is expanding because it's INHALING.'

"I feel so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Maybe I should buy some cowboy boots."

Boxer with glasses.

"Well Mr. Bisley, your test results are off the scale. . !"

Alien reading postcard.

"He thought he named a star after me, but it was only a piece of flaming space junk."

'Mystic Ken sees your future in the stars.'