Starry-eyed Humorist T-Shirts

'I hate to break it to you, but moons don't grow up to be planets OR stars.'

'I'm going to take a shower - No peeking, now.'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

Marry me astronaut

"Ambitions... to open an office on Mars. Kennedy Space Center."

'Which one is named after me?'

"Something goes around something, but that's as far as I've got."

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

Moon and Star

"A study finds that there are billions of earth-like planets in our galaxy."

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'Does the earth move for you as well.'

'...You hear me? Control here, can you hear me?'

'Hmphh, your horoscope says you're going to have a date, with a Taurus, and I'm a Gemini.'

'Since the universe is rapidly expanding, there's a lot more that we have to worry about now.'

'...and, if I don't get a place, I'll kill myself.'

"Wow, that thing is bright! Glad we wore our sunglasses!"

"The map says to take a right at that planetary dumpster fire."

The Milky Way Galaxy: 'You are here.'

Obscure Constellations

'Kleinzweck's theory is that the Universe is expanding because it's INHALING.'

"If we came here in a faster-than-light spaceship, shouldn't it be dark out?"

"I feel so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Maybe I should buy some cowboy boots."

"Well Mr. Bisley, your test results are off the scale. . !"

Boxer with glasses.

Alien reading postcard.

'Due to a series of gravitational lenses, all the stars we observe over there...are realy over there.'

"From all indications, ours is one of the biggest universes there is."

"Makes you feel more significant than everyone else, doesn't it?"

'Mystic Ken sees your future in the stars.'