Stargazing Mystic T-Shirts

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

"I don't like space."

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

'It's only a few minutes before supper, but let's try. One, two, three...'

"Kind of makes you realize how insignificant my awesome beard is."

Seances of the future

Efforts Results In Seeing Stars

Buffering

The Big Bang

'I say we report the snow and ice and just leave it at that.'

Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Earth, Venus, Mars … Mercury … Um, Pluto? Charon? No, Pluto … or Eris? Ugh …

"What's wrong with this telescope? I can't see a blasted thing."

'Look, it's the constellation 'Skipper the frisbee catching dog'!'

'Stop staring at my wife.'

Plugged In

"What is the speed of dark?"

Man covering one eye looking at the moon.

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

"It is NOT an alien invasion. A moth landed on the lens."

'Kleinzweck's theory is that the Universe is expanding because it's INHALING.'

Rocket

Oberserving asteroids.

The Planet Ewe-ranus.

Real estate agent showing observatory: 'You were looking for something with a view?'

Space Construction Co. What will we use for framing materials? Moonbeams!

"Is that it? Blood Moon! I'm somewhat disappointed!"

"Paul turn off your flashlight. There's a real interesting star cluster I'm trying to get a picture of."

"It's so hot. Wonder if we can get the Big Dipper to pour some water out on us."

"Will all this light cause galactic warming?"

Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are. The sky's so filled with man's debris

Dutch boy holds finger in observatory wall to plug space leak.