Starfish Fan Gifts

'No, they're not my children. They gave me these for doing a good job at work.'

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

Lazy Octopus

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

Fish Tank Label - Corporation Fish

I told you we were late!

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

'I just know I'm going to get a bite soon.'

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

"Heads or tails?"

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

'Well, back to the old drawing board.'

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'

'Oh my! He finally proposed!'

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

Fresh fish

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

Angler sees sign that says 'Good Spot'. He says, 'This looks like a good spot.'

'I hope this is catch and release!'