Star Hitcher T-Shirts

'I'm starting to regret hitching my wagon to your star...'

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

'Hello there, how y'doin'?'

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"I love the things I say when I’m in nature."

"When are you gonna roll in something?"

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

Moon

"It's the adorable snowman!"

"Daisy, that fall broke my leg pretty badly. You need to go get help, girl - oh, what a big stretch! Who’s a good stretcher? Daisy’s a good stretcher! What a good girl…"

"Just lemme finish my coffee."

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

Large bird chases bird watcher up a hill.

"You've got a friend in me."

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

Astronaut

"Stop whimpering. Most dogs would kill for a walk like this."

Life in the fastest lane.

"I see you've come a long way, Perkins."

"I told you it was a universal truth."

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

Bear Recycling.

"Write your acceptance speech before winning the award."