Star Hitcher T-Shirts

'I'm starting to regret hitching my wagon to your star...'

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"When are you gonna roll in something?"

"I love the things I say when I’m in nature."

'Hello there, how y'doin'?'

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

"It's the adorable snowman!"

"Daisy, that fall broke my leg pretty badly. You need to go get help, girl - oh, what a big stretch! Who’s a good stretcher? Daisy’s a good stretcher! What a good girl…"

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

Moon

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

"Just lemme finish my coffee."

Astronaut

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

Bear Signpost.

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'

Large bird chases bird watcher up a hill.

Life in the fastest lane.

"You've got a friend in me."

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

"Stop whimpering. Most dogs would kill for a walk like this."

"I see you've come a long way, Perkins."

Bear Recycling.

"I told you it was a universal truth."

'Too proud to wear glasses, Bob gets what's coming to him.'