Stanza Strategist Gifts

'Then it's agreed. It doesn't have to rhyme.'

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Poetry repairman

Ted Hughes

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

Nikolai Alekseevich Klyuev

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

If poets wrote road signs.

'I'd add 'UK' to your name and do it in big red letters...that'll be £15,000.'

"We'd like to take a majority position in your poetry."

Artist and the artist's model both thinking of the money.

'I know.. Let's write a song all about the evils of material wealth. After all, that last one netted us a bloody fortune!'

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"Since the merger we've managed to engotiate joint strategy, budgets, and client support...But they still can't agree on who has the office stapler."

"Dad said they'd sell like hotcakes, but they're selling like vegetables."

'It's gotta be a trap.'

"Try nibblin' through that, you little tree rat!"

Alexander Blok

'The brood mares are coming this way! If they ask you if they look fat the answer is no!'

'...Santa delivers to Yorkshire first...everybody else has to wait because they're not as good.'

Wii Childbirth

"I told you that if we kept paddling upstream, things would turn around."

"Of course, if this one flops we're done."

"They say you're good with forgeries?"

"Now, don't worry about the shepherd's fire: I'll take care of it..."

'Face it, Kemosabe - Nothing rhymes with 'Hi-Yo, Silver,''

Donkey Fights

Barry devises a way to get two lunches.

Hierarchy In The Junk Drawer

"What kind of ambition is that - to be a war poet?"

Art by committee

"I told you that climbing down chimneys in the American midwest was a dangerous idea!"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. V

Out of my Swamp, Comey...!

'We like to cover all our bases when it comes to marketing.'