Stand-up Economists Gifts

"This is the amount you have to pay Casanova. This is NOT my phone number."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"He's gonna be in and out for a while, so we should write something funny on his forehead."

Standard & Poor

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

Trickledown economics

Office of economic forecasting.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'We buy and sell them.'

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

Government Handouts.

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

Investments: Still Open to New Investors - 'A fool & his money fund.'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

First Market Decline

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.

Sign - 'Warning: Government Spending Objectives Are Larger Than They Actually Appear.'

"These days, many people can only afford to drink from home."

"Since it cost as much as our house, can we take out a mortgage instead of a loan?"