Stamina Strategist Gifts

'I'll be glad when this guy's large muscles cause him to tire badly during these late rounds.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"I've just barbecued my head again."

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

"If you really must know, Junior, yes, you were a market correction."

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

Standard And P****d.

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

Shareholders Meeting - We will be paying a dividend but I will not be announcing it here.

"I like to stay on top of things."

'Have you been talking to someone, Jenkins?'

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

"I invested in Chinese stocks just because of my ironic sense of humor - if it goes wrong, I can't even afford a bowl of Chop Suey!"

Stock market books.

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

Wall Street Investing.

To Stock Exchange

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

If you're so good at picking winning stocks, why do you still have to work?

'Bulls and bears are my yin and yang.'

Protein Powder Irony

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'After only a few years in the market I had a small fortune - unfortunately I'd started out with a big one.'

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."