Smoke Strategist Gifts

'I smoke fewer cigarettes when I roll my own.'

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

Perils of the double play.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

The Other Cooperstown

"I love fast break business success."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

'Are you blind ref?'

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

"Baseball is way too boring - so, we're doing one inning, winner takes all, everybody go home early and live their lives."

"I like to stay on top of things."

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'