Stamina Strategist T-Shirts

'I'll be glad when this guy's large muscles cause him to tire badly during these late rounds.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"I've just barbecued my head again."

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

"If you really must know, Junior, yes, you were a market correction."

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

Shareholders Meeting - We will be paying a dividend but I will not be announcing it here.

"I like to stay on top of things."

'Have you been talking to someone, Jenkins?'

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

Stock market books.

"I invested in Chinese stocks just because of my ironic sense of humor - if it goes wrong, I can't even afford a bowl of Chop Suey!"

Wall Street Investing.

To Stock Exchange

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'Bulls and bears are my yin and yang.'

'After only a few years in the market I had a small fortune - unfortunately I'd started out with a big one.'

Protein Powder Irony

If you're so good at picking winning stocks, why do you still have to work?

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

'He runs a very successful hedge fund.'