Stalactite Storyteller T-Shirts

"We only got six days of funding."

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"Wheel, schmeel—check these babies out!"

"Eat my dust!"

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

OOG & SONS HUNTING & GATHERING

'AAAARGH!...Get it off! Whatever the hell it is...Get it off!'

'If you want to see my resume, it's on my cave wall.'

'O mighty gods! - May you grant us food, clothing, and shelter, and the wisdom to know the difference.'

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

Phoenix

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Santa CGI Effect

"You said getting to the air B&B would be quick, I didn't think you meant this quick!"

'Wine? Okay. I really don't care what you call it; let's invite over the two sisters from the cave next door.'

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

"Only 10,000 more years and we'll be together forever, my darling."

Mammoth Posing

Early man learns that by walking upright, his hands become free to do many useful things.

'It's the Mesolithic Age? - But I just got used to the PALEOlithic!'

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

'Do you mind if I share your post on my wall?'

Caveman who has just invented the wheel is amazed to see a paper airplane demonstrating the principle of flight.

"I don't know. He just said he had discovered something and we had to come over and see it."

"Chapter three: Homo erectus and the practical use of bones..."

"Gesundheit!"

Eurydice in prison

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

Prehistoric son going "Baroooom...Barooom!" on dad's stone wheel