Stairway Performer Pillows

"How many times have I told you? Stop playing on the stairs!"

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Pirate

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Tina Turner

Magic Tricks

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

Midsummer Night's Dream

Music Hall Dancers

'And the Dance Scholarship goes to...'

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

"He's got a great future behind him!"

Time for speeches

Music

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

'Verily, we wuz robbed!'

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

Tenors

Sidewalk Ballet

How to engage an audience

"And for my next trick, an evidence-based strategy!"

'Just remember lads, when the drummer misses a beat we all miss a beat.'