Stairway Performer T-Shirts

"How many times have I told you? Stop playing on the stairs!"

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Pirate

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Freddie Mercury

Karataoke

Tina Turner

Jeff Beck.

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

Magic Tricks

Midsummer Night's Dream

Music Hall Dancers

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

'And the Dance Scholarship goes to...'

Robbie Williams

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Sidewalk Ballet

How to engage an audience

Music

Time for speeches

'Verily, we wuz robbed!'

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

"He's got a great future behind him!"

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

Tenors

"And for my next trick, an evidence-based strategy!"