Stairmaster Champion Gifts

"The top row shows the floor you want...and the bottom shows number of pounds you'd lose if you walked instead"

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

"This condo includes free access to fitness facilities...7 flights of stairs."

Jungle Games

'I've had a lot of experience at this. My Mom keeps the cookie jar on top of the refrigerator.'

"I don't care how sick you feel; don't drop it."

"How many times have I told you? Stop playing on the stairs!"

Dead Scientists Climbs DNA Stairway to Heaven.

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

"Aw, geez... I thought I took more hops than that today."

Unusual Staircase

Out of Order.

'In your defense, I see you're not very bright. Most folks take the elevator.'

Man on the way to Heaven worries about steps.

"You won't gain weight drinking beer here. The bathroom is three flights up."

'Oh well, never let it be said you can't handle your booze!'

"Ha ha, very funny. But seriously … there’s a pub at the top?"

"I wish I'd put in a stair lift."

Beginner Level Escalators

Weight Loss Center on top of huge stairway used to get to the top.

"I volunteered for this position because it's good for my cardio."

The coward's way out.

"Come on! You can do this!!"

Man out of breath, Breathtaking Views

'Apparently it was only his fear of heights that stopped him from jumping.'

"I'm starting a fitness program. Since we work on the 90th floor, I'm nor requiring all employees o use the stairs."

Fitness Clinic.

Hooked on spares....

"The reward is Heaven and a set of well-toned glutes."

"I want all of that done by the time I get home."

"Let's take the stairs!"

'I know it's healthier but I climbed the stairs yesterday and when I finally reached the very top office, working time was already over!'

'It was carrying a heavy bag up these stairs that made him ill, Doctor.'