Stairway Warrior Gifts

The coward's way out.

Texturing the Walls

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

Ladder of Success.

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"I think Henshaw is trying to tell us the corporate ladder is out of order."

A "Park and Walk" near New York City.

"Why did we get a Cheetah? They need so much walking."

"Now we're really in trouble!!! It's the Power Walking Dead!!!"

Dead Scientists Climbs DNA Stairway to Heaven.

"How many times have I told you? Stop playing on the stairs!"

Roger managed to climb higher than any person had ever climbed before, thanks to sponsorship by Alu-Tech Aluminium Ladders.

Vast Wasteland Ahead

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

The Top of the Mountain.

If you rotate the corporate ladder by 90 degrees, you end up with monkey bars.

Unusual Staircase

'In your defense, I see you're not very bright. Most folks take the elevator.'

Man on the way to Heaven worries about steps.

'I asked my doc for a diet plan and it works great - thanks to his usurious bills, I can't afford a car or taxis and that's why I'm losing weight by walking!'

"Agnes is so crushing on him."

'Oh well, never let it be said you can't handle your booze!'

"Mother, please!"

Climbing into the bathtub

'I'm taking the kid for a walk, he's overweight!'

"Come on! You can do this!!"

Chster K. Crimpknuckle, the undisputed King of stepladder salesmen.

"I'm starting a fitness program. Since we work on the 90th floor, I'm nor requiring all employees o use the stairs."

Pensioner being chased up stair lift by pensioners.

Cull people who use golf umbrellas in a busy high street.

Winslebury - An Area Of Outstandingly Irate Commuters

"You wish I was making kissy sounds! My walker needs oiling!"

Pole Vault (Man running up with a ladder).

"It's not exactly what I had in mind"

'We can exchange information, or, if you prefer, I can punch you in the face and forget the whole thing ever happened.'