Stain-fighting Enthusiast Gifts

'How to get mustard stains out of clothing? Excuse me while I call my mother!'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

Sweep the board.

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

'But you said to clean my room.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

Dust Bunny

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

"The mold cleaners are here! I gotta scram."

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

'That's not exactly what I had in mind when I said to clean your room.'

Cleaning up space junk.

'How long did you try before calling?'

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

"Hello job security."

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

Floor Cleaner

Carpet Cleaner.

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

'The first time I met her, she practically swept me off my feet!'

Spring cleaning.

'Only the high-traffic path needs cleaning - from the couch to the bar.'

"Do you have anything that removes ink stains?"

"That loft has needed sorting out for years, at least you've had time to do the job properly!!"