Stain Combatant Gifts

'No matter what I do I can't get rid of his squid marks.'

"Ninja bread men"

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

Graffiti Art Class

'I think you got the drummer - Now try for the trumpet player!'

'I'd like to sample your house wine...Hmm, do you have something that stains a little better?'

' I've got a feeling I'm going to get a bite.'

'Here, take this. It came in handy when I used to change your nappy.'

'I know I never play it. I only borrow it from next door to stop him playing the damn thing!'

"For lunch? Spaghetti. Why do you ask?"

'Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment.'

Dry Cleaners. My cup runneth over again…..

'Assuming the cockroach I need to kill weighs 180 pounds, how much of this pesticide would I need?'

"You wanna piece o' me? Huh? HUH?!"

'Tell your mom that the grape juice stain is just your way of marking your territory.'

"Come on, Mom...these can't all look carpet stains."

Laundry Dry Cleaner. If a spritz of moisture doesn't get this stain out we'll have to color the shirt. It's a dew or dye situation!

'I can't believe it. The same woman who sends me to my room for staining my clothes just donated money for stained glass.'

Death unplugs the the life support of polluting industry

'How to get mustard stains out of clothing? Excuse me while I call my mother!'

Angry man shoots at musical notes from guitar player.

Cleaners Fold-Press Alterations. Open. The stain's still on my shirt, but they did remove the ten-spot from my pants.

The sick environment

'But we spend all our money creating toxic waste. We were hoping someone else would figure out how to detoxify it.'

'Birthmark? Nope...no pocket protector during the great permanent ink pen leak of '72.'

'Keep your distance, Mr Robinson - this perfume spray is loaded!'

Skunk Scent Killer

'Out, damned spot.'

'Have you been working on your car again?'

Cry cleaners. My cup runneth over again.

Warning: Do Not Breathe - Breathing May Cause Death or Serious Injury

Take a deep breath! 5 lanes becomes 3 lanes, 1 MILE!