Stain Collector Gifts

"For lunch? Spaghetti. Why do you ask?"

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

Quills - Sizes 1-9

Teapot

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

"Your membership entitles you to 15 books,45 posters,200 leaflets and umpteen stickers!"

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

17th Century Anonymous Dutch Paintings Museum: Formerly 'Rembrandt Museum'.

Old Book Smell

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

"Mine, I believe, is the Green Jacket."

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

These colour charts are ridiculous... coal' black, 'midnight' black, 'licquorice black'.' - 'There's too much choice! All I want is plain old boring bl-' - 'Ooooooh... 'panther' black.' -

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

The public was right

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

'Anyone else would be satisfied with one coat, but not you!'

'Hey! This box of 'made in America' stickers has a sticker on it that says 'made in Taiwan'.'

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

Joseph, returns his coat of many colours: 'Can I exchange this? It clashes with everything?'

'Good news, Perkins! We're finally getting an automatic postage machine!'

Dog Sticker Family

What's that, Lance? It's called a newspaper. It's like a Kindle, but instead of your fingers leaving smudges, they get smudged.

Junk Stamps For Junk Mail.

'It's a project to develop a stamp mucilage that tastes like beef stew.. it's funded by Andy Rooney.'

'I'm sorry Rex, but since getting this new stick for Christmas, I have no further need for you.'

Hieroglyph stamps.

Henri Matisse

Art Museum. Acquisitions Dept. How's it going? Another day, another Dali.

"The applications are limitless."

"I'm having my annual reunion with Polartec, Thinsulate, fleece, and my oldest friend, wool."

'Made your point.'