Stage Starlet Pillows

David Bowie Superfan

'So, did I get the job?'

Konstantin Stanislavski.

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Pirate

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Taking a peek at the audience

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

Jack Gleeson

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Freddie Mercury

Karataoke

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

Eric Clapton.

Ladies

Tina Turner

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Magic Tricks

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

Jeff Beck.

Mensa Does Improv

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

Midsummer Night's Dream

Music Hall Dancers

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'