Stage Star Pillows

Graham really wanted to play Joseph, but deep down he knew what part he'd get again.

'That's enough about me, now let's concentrate on you. What did you think of my performance?'

"I knew I should have kept my mouth shut!"

"Here's a little song I wrote in prison. Actually, I was at Motor Vehicle renewing my license, but it SEEMED like prison."

'Here's one I didn't write... I never learned... and can't play.'

'Is there a spotlight operator in the house?'

The Actor Factor

Von Trapp family masks

'Oops. We forgot to turn the house lights on after our power point presentation and now they're expecting an encore.'

The Poet.

Dog picturing himself on stage.

Taking a peek at the audience

Songbird.

Bucky's dream of becoming a stand-up comedian ended abruptly the very first time he stepped into the spotlight.

"I come from a long line of actors. It's call the dole queue..."

"Next time, don't start the presentation by asking, 'Can you tolerate ambiguity?'!"

'He never used to be this good - he's a cured ham.'

'Listen my dear fellow, a 'has been' is better than a 'never was'!'

'Well, this explains everything. You've been bitten by the acting bug!'

'Now here's an Actor with real gravitas!'

'It all started when I was teaching him the basics: Sit, stay, beg. But when I said speak...'

"I hope you're not nervous."

Bow

"I've been on the stage now for 35 years..."

"This next one is for all the people who did the right thing and stayed home."

"Oh how I suffer for my art!"

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

Soprano

Doctor Bartolo

"Could someone please get a plaque made? A famous actor has just died in our theatre."

"We can rule out stage fright. Maybe it's performance anxiety."

"I do apologise, it's just that your dancing is so infectious."

The Masked Singer

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

Alison Pill