Stage Stars Pillows

"Don't make me come down there."

"I finished my act. Could you come over and give me a hand?"

"be-be-be-be"

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'They all want to play the star.'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Pirate

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Taking a peek at the audience

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

Woman crying with happiness.

Ladies

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Tina Turner

Mensa Does Improv

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Magic Tricks

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

Midsummer Night's Dream