Stage Sleeper T-Shirts

"This next one's for anyone out there who might still be awake."

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

A man cheers

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

Mensa Does Improv

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Ballet dancer.

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

Interpretive napping

'We had to donwsize.'

Chekov play and scorecard,

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

"For my next trick, I'll require an audience."

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

TV stage door

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

Performance In The Bedroom

Actor talking to unimpressed child

Programmer Dreams

'It's not over till the slim, glamorous crossover lady sings.'

Wordplay: Pantomime.

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

"Is there a rabbit in the house?"

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

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'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Barbara Streisand

"Before I prescribe a sleeping pill, I'd like you to try the opera."

"All the world's gotta do is look at me once, and I'll tap dance until I die."