Stage Sleeper T-Shirts

"This next one's for anyone out there who might still be awake."

A man cheers

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Mensa Does Improv

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

Ballet dancer.

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

Interpretive napping

'We had to donwsize.'

Chekov play and scorecard,

TV stage door

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

Performance In The Bedroom

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

"For my next trick, I'll require an audience."

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

Actor talking to unimpressed child

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

"Is there a rabbit in the house?"

'It's not over till the slim, glamorous crossover lady sings.'

Programmer Dreams

Wordplay: Pantomime.

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'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"This next song kinda stinks. I hope you like it."

"All the world's gotta do is look at me once, and I'll tap dance until I die."

Shakespearean Actor