Stage Master T-Shirts

'Higher!'

"First, let me begin by admitting that the unexpected and rather brazen theft of our teleprompter has left me somewhat speechless."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'They all want to play the star.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Theatre Masks and Butts

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

"Toi Toi Toi!"

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

Woman crying with happiness.

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Mensa Does Improv

"A glimpse into a cartoon character's dressing room..."

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Waving from Behind the Curtain

"Dad, why do they tell actors to "break a leg?""

Ice Fly-Fishing with Doug

Broadway Moosical.

'I'm a star!'

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"You can't beat the smell of the greasepaint..."