Stage Builder Gifts

"Young Frankenstein"

"Just be yourself."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

'They all want to play the star.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'I found the termites!'

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

God's Subcontractors

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Lego Haircut

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'Where do I put the batteries?'