Staff Room Sleuth Gifts

Teacher's Lounge

"One day, my teacher went in there and never came back out."

"Well did he?"

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

'All right, who hid the sandbox?'

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

"I know it's the right thing to do, but if we call the cops this sandbox will be tied up for weeks."

"We need to talk about procrastination."

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

The Sleep of Reason Produces Bureaucracy

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

"Don't let the organized desk fool you. I have no idea where my computer files are."

It's important to get to know the unspoken rules of office life...

"I have no idea why Stuart Little’s mother is human — don’t overthink it."

"I'm sorry, dear, but you knew I was a bureaucrat when you married me."

"You can use Dave's cubicle. He has Seasonal Affective Disorder and won't be using it this winter. Whoa! I guess I'm wrong. There he is, hibernating under the desk!"

"Now, just to review, at the last faculty meeting we established that Marcia hates Fred, Fred hates Carol and Marcia, Carol and Larry despise me, and I hate Larry, Marcia, Fred and Penny."

"Try the fancy new coffee machine. It's part of the school's new teacher retention program."

'So there I was, alone in the aisle, heart pounding, without a bloody clue as to what wine I should bring our hosts.'

"Is this book a true story or is it true it's a story?"

'Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere.'

Teachers' Support Group...Formerly Teachers' Lounge.

"Miss Duxbury, get this one checked for fingerprints!"

"Illegal or not, I'm pretty sure they pray in there."

'Sure I killed Cock Robin - and I did the humpty dumpty job and...' (Headline reads 'Nursery rhymes more violent than TV.)

Fairy-tales

Insert 50 cents for absolutely nothing.

'Someone must have done it after hours.'

C.V.-Mind your own business, "Welcome to the CIA."

'So, this is what you do in your secret room...'