Staffing Sleuth Gifts

'We're looking for a cashier...'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

Joan Hickson

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

Getting through the week.

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

'A word in my office Jones.'

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

'Today, the market did the 'Ol' Dipsy, but recovered in the 'Doodle'.'

I think you should go after my job!

'Are these billable hours?'

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

'Oh my God! You look like you've see the FTSE.'

"...Software upgrade provides a seamless transition from simple functionality to multi-platform confusion, chaos and frustration..."

'I can't figure out whether I'm a secretary or an executive - I do executive work, but get secretarial pay.'

'This morning a rumor that we would buy the Arpex Corp drove our stock up $3. Around noon a rumor that Arpex would buy us drove it up another $3. And in the afternoon a rumor that wo have nothing to do with Arpex drove it up $3 more.'

'It's true that money can't buy everything, Caldwell, but it's not healthy to dwell on it.'

"We're sure we've got the right numbers... Now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

"Our stock is down. Start some rumors on Wall Street that it's going up."

"We'd like you to join our valued team of department heads."

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

'I need to hire more people. I can't keep making all of these mistakes.'

Minion of the month

'Find some people who can be the people who will be my people that get in touch with their people.'

'So one of your hobbies is lying, how do I know you're not telling the truth?'

'Always bought low.'

'Of course it's not your fault, Smedley, but someone has to accept the responsibility.'

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'