Stablehand Gifts

The Horse Blabberer.

"I don't think I'd mind so much if it was another woman."

'My mother was a race horse. My father was a stablehand who got five years for sodomy.'

'Last one back to the barn has to muck out the stalls!'

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Braiding a Horse's Tail

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

A very young man being hired as a groom.

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood...'

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

A pony throws its rider.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. X.

"Well, that's show business."

Janitor sweeping music notes off of concert stage.

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

Horse Clean-up

Stable boys and Scottsman

'I'm here in case one of the actors actually does break a leg.'

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'

"I preferred the name 'Merrylegs'."

'Mom, I think it's time I graduated to a full size horse.'

"I finished my act. Could you come over and give me a hand?"

'I don't set the rules, but you do need to accept that you're a pony and move on Brian!'

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

"I used to be a racer: Giving people joy-rides is really really boring..."

Drunken sailor

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

Pommel Horse Poops.

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

Horse Muzzles