Stable Groom Gifts

"The fly count is high today so we need to pair up, and lets not have any fighting again over who pairs up with Marcus..."

'It's full AGAIN? I will NEVER drink this dry!'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Dating is so expensive...

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"Be creative...!"

'He does.'

'It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

A very young man being hired as a groom.

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'