Stable Groom Pillows

"The fly count is high today so we need to pair up, and lets not have any fighting again over who pairs up with Marcus..."

'It's full AGAIN? I will NEVER drink this dry!'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

'It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.'

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Be creative...!"

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'He does.'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

Dating is so expensive...

A very young man being hired as a groom.

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'