Stability Seeker T-Shirts

He's our most reliable researcher...highly stable and chemically inert.

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Fight or Flight

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

Pony Rides

One man's obstacle is another man's stepping stone.

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

I'm looking forward tot he day we can afford some real statues for this place.

"No, I'm not really a CEO. I just like to keep up with the Joneses."

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

'But this is what you demanded; a corner office with Windows.'

'I have everything a man could want - But I've still managed to hang onto my petty ambitions.'

"I like this Carl, you've come up with more solutions than we have problems."

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"A wage increase to match inflation."

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

"The problem with your reasoned solutions is they don't fit my preconceived notions of the problems."

'Think tank' and 'Rethink tank'.

Work/Personal Life Balance Beam

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

Give up all my possessions? Did I say Buddhist? I meant Boatist. I'm a boatist.

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.