Squirrel Skeptic T-Shirts

Wally is nearly 100% squirrel proof.

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

"I love this time of day."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Nice try, but I know a squirrel in a bird suit when I see one."

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

"This'll be a cut and dried, no-drama procedure. Unless any squirrels show up, in which case all hell's gonna break loose."

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

Squirrel on the beach

No, I don

You are what you eat!

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

Life's a Bench.

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

Angry Squirrel Can't Get to the Bird Table.

"I meant the dog!"

ATM withdrawal

'So, that's how squirrels find their buried food?'

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

'My dentist recommended it.'

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"