Squirrel Fanatic T-Shirts

"Bit of a bummer really, you've got a nut allergy"

Know Your Limits

"Squirrel! Squirrel! Speed up! Speed up!"

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

"I love this time of day."

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

"Nuts to you, too."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

"Nice try, but I know a squirrel in a bird suit when I see one."

"This'll be a cut and dried, no-drama procedure. Unless any squirrels show up, in which case all hell's gonna break loose."

Squirrel on the beach

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

"Well, if she didn't insist on giving me this stupid look, she wouldn't need to buy me coats in winter..."

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.