Squirrel Fanatic T-Shirts

"Bit of a bummer really, you've got a nut allergy"

Know Your Limits

"Squirrel! Squirrel! Speed up! Speed up!"

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Poor guy fell asleep with his head in the sap.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"Nuts to you, too."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"I love this time of day."

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Nice try, but I know a squirrel in a bird suit when I see one."

"Well, if she didn't insist on giving me this stupid look, she wouldn't need to buy me coats in winter..."

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

"This'll be a cut and dried, no-drama procedure. Unless any squirrels show up, in which case all hell's gonna break loose."

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"