Squirrel Advocate Gifts

'I swerved to avoid a squirrel and hit a police car.'

When did the songbirds switch to a talk radio format? The squirrel lobby! The squirrel lobby is killing the nation! You said it, Jimbo.

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

Brian was very proud of his dog.

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

The Golfing Accident

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

dog vs UFO...

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.