Squeamish Sympathy Seekers Pillows

"And this is one of our more difficult patients..."

German Expressionist Breakfast

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

'The Burrito King.'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

Afraid of change - leave it here.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

"You can't lose pal. For a small fee, you make huge commissions every time you sell those babies."

The GPC has written to ministers about how children can be more involved with the NHS

The guy who got in on the ground floor

The Olympic Booze-a-thon.

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

"Oh, may I freshen your drink, Dr. Marshall?"

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

"My New Year's resolution is to acknowledge the dog, but you know how hard resolutions are."

'I would suggest a Cabernet Sauvignon. It's non habit forming. I should know. I've been drinking a glass every day for twenty years.'

'Yeah, I know it's a plastic carrot: I wanted a low-maintenance system...'

Trump to Build Wall

"Sorry, boss. . . Google also doesn't know where your missing person is. I have no idea where to look now. . ."

'You're excused. Anyone else feel too squeamish to witness the procedure?'

Lenny the Cadaver dog had one heck of a story to tell the boys at the k-9 training...

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

'I don't know why you wanted a high def television when you have low def eyesight!'

A yeoman misunderstanding an order from his drill-sergeant

Bank 'n' Burger

Vulture declines fresh food.

An empty 'crime' section in a bookhop