Squeaky Voice Fan Pillows

"Go on, breath in the helium from the balloon, you'll sound all squeaky like me..."

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

-"What has this got to do with communication?" -"It's my invention...the hand smiley."

Cat and Broom

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

"The people will not tolerate people speaking on behalf of the people any longer!"

'I think they make my feet look too small.'

Beachy Hair

'Let's face it, we're not meant to wear hats...'

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

"Do you hear what I hear?"

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

"Okay, now this time just start chasing the squirrel instead of asking it to dance."

"...and this is Sheila. She's my main squeeze."

Three ducks: two have normal bills, third one has bill turned around like bill of cap.

A servant unfamiliar with his mistress's voice

"...and the dish ran away with the other dish."

'John's animal impressions are particularly good. He not only does the sounds, he does the smells as well!'

Only a handful of people are this small.

"Can we cut across the park and avoid Colony Lane? There are three squirrels in an oak tree I’d like to avoid."

Communication on a bus

Parts of a Bagpipe

"I don’t know if this is just the cashews talking, but I find you absolutely delightful."

The Red Cat: Lights/Red Cat Humour/Rhyme.

'That's curious, Mr Van Der Pummen...up to question 2084 you seem entirely normal, but then after 2085 you suddenly go to pieces!'

"Yes, I'm sure it'll work. They hate turkeys with bad taste."

Never use an electric can opener if you live next door to a cat lady.

'Good evening! The debate continues over the idea of horse whisperers...'

'If you don't stop playing that thing I'll go crazy.'

"I've got this phobia about paying bills...."

He squeaks when you chew him. Then he gets quiet … Too quiet.

'When I said I like face to face meetings, I meant on Skype.'

'Hey, Mr. Jones. I'd know that voice anywhere!'

A man with a cactus hat