Spy Gifts

Torture-Free C.I.A. Interrogation Tools

'Information gathering.'

"You're a good listener."

'No, Meester Bond... I expect it to cure your astigmatism'

Man reading a book in the library. Notices a man next to him reading all book about spying.

'Ah, Mr Bond, I've been expecting you...'

Detective with a magnifying glass.

'I'd just like to know how these crazy rumors get started.'

'I'm a simple man really beneath the code words and the black ops and the multitude of fake passports.'

'I think one of us must be a plant.'

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

Bond Textiles, we live to dye another day!

"Ah, Mr Bond, so now the tables are turned"

"[Redacted]"

'And just how are we going to win if every time I buy a ticket, you eat it?'

Secret Service, sign saying: 'You could be here.'

'Under new business, is anyone wearing a wire?'

He's given up being an internation man of mystery and global sex symbol as part of his new years resolutions.

"Keep your voice down there's a tap on the phone"

"After you read the menu, eat it."

'Hey, I left my Top Secret Codebook on the subway. Can I get another one?'

CIA Cafeteria: 'It's nice of you to ask, but the recipe is classified.'

"No, my memo isn't encrypted...the spell check broke."

Business Intelligence Unit.

Paranoid scientists.

"We rendezvous at 0600 hours. Wear this so I'll recognize you"

'This stealth technology just keeps getting better!'

"I only came in to get my eyes done."

'I'm sorry sir. I'm afraid you can't see the menu. It's top secret.'

Intelligence: in...analyze...analyze...analyze...out...back in again'

A spy

'We heard you say you're worried about the government listening to your phone calls so we called to tell you not to worry . . . yet.'

'Bob, you're fired as Estimator of Enemy Numbers.'

"Gentlemen, one of us is a mole!"

Sign on Secret Service door: Could be out to lunch.