Spy Gifts

Torture-Free C.I.A. Interrogation Tools

"You're a good listener."

'No, Meester Bond... I expect it to cure your astigmatism'

Man reading a book in the library. Notices a man next to him reading all book about spying.

'Information gathering.'

Detective with a magnifying glass.

'I'm a simple man really beneath the code words and the black ops and the multitude of fake passports.'

'I'd just like to know how these crazy rumors get started.'

'I think one of us must be a plant.'

"[Redacted]"

"Ah, Mr Bond, so now the tables are turned"

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

'And just how are we going to win if every time I buy a ticket, you eat it?'

"After you read the menu, eat it."

"Keep your voice down there's a tap on the phone"

Secret Service, sign saying: 'You could be here.'

'Under new business, is anyone wearing a wire?'

"We rendezvous at 0600 hours. Wear this so I'll recognize you"

CIA Cafeteria: 'It's nice of you to ask, but the recipe is classified.'

Business Intelligence Unit.

'Hey, I left my Top Secret Codebook on the subway. Can I get another one?'

"I only came in to get my eyes done."

"No, my memo isn't encrypted...the spell check broke."

'This stealth technology just keeps getting better!'

Paranoid scientists.

But how did you pick me as a double agent?

Sign on Secret Service door: Could be out to lunch.

"Gentlemen, one of us is a mole!"

'Bob, you're fired as Estimator of Enemy Numbers.'

"All the kids have noticed that Mom wears Russian Army boots."

'Vee vill soon find verr you keep ze confidential information...'

Our Spies In France: What They Found Out

"If you were a spy or a terrorist, you would tell me, wouldn't you..."

A spy

Intelligence: in...analyze...analyze...analyze...out...back in again'