Spud Sympathizer Pillows

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

The Inexperienced Cook

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

'You've never planted potatoes before have you?'

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

Mash-Test Dummies.

'In just six hours you will be simultaneously cured of your fear of snakes, heights, small spaces and commitment.'

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

'Here's my report card and here's my personal disclaimer.'

'So, that's settled - the eyes have it!'

'Maybe you should try flowers?'

"Nooo. Not my legs."

"I'm not saying you have to give them up entirely, but you need to eat your young in moderation."

"Mum, the school has signed up for a skunk-outreach initiative, but don't worry, it's only a penpal programme. . ."

Eye Bank.

'Heel! HEEL! Bad potato!'

"She said this is not the same old alphabet soup, this one has a new font."

Spud U Like/Spud U Don't Like.

Spud U-boat

I told you not to text and spin, Simone.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Oh, it's only you."

"Well, you're not itsy-bitsy to me."

"I keep climbing this water spout. The rain washes me out. Then out comes the sun and dries up the rain. So what do I do? I climb right back up again. Talk about a rut."

Scary Slug Stories

"Bloody satellites..!"

'Flamin' tourists...'

Snail to Slug.

Potato singing - 'Peelings,, Nothing more than Peelings,,'

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

and WHAT is this thing stuck in my back garden..?

Another Timmy Pet Fail!