Spud Lovers Pillows

"I hate guarding potatoes with all those eyes staring at me!"

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

His Her Cakes

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

'It feels warm enough to me.'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

The Inexperienced Cook

"And would sir and madam like to start with the dessert menu?"

'Actually, it's good, old fashioned, chicken soup.'

Sausages!

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

Your friends pooled their retirements to buy you some super sex. I'll take the soup! Hey, I like soup.

"Wow, what are the chances of that four letter word being in your alphabet soup?"

What's the insect de jour?

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'You've never planted potatoes before have you?'

'To better prepare you for the future, I've replaced the letters in your alphabet soup with Chinese ones.'

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

Dessert

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

Cafe: 'Soup of the day, Hon, is 'primordial'.'

'Waiter, there's a cell phone in my soup.'

"If you're ever granted three wishes, don't blow them all on a giant body with tiny arms legs."

Mash-Test Dummies.

'He can dish it out but can he take it?'

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

'Anything else, Sir?'