Spud Enthusiast Pillows

Potato Funeral Planning

After 10 years, the great potato race of 1997 was finally declared a tie.

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

Potato having a shave.

'Genetics may make the taters grow faster but it also makes them noticeably slower when it comes to burying a round.'

Eye Bank.

Odd Angles,a strip on coarse angling.

'So, that's settled - the eyes have it!'

'You're trying too hard to compete with the supermarket.'

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

"In my father's day this may have been a potato peeler but you're gonna be marketing it as a Spud Master X-17B."

Soup of the month.

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"Wow. . . what's that?!"

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

The Inexperienced Cook

Classic Emojis for sale.

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

"I'm sorry madam, we're right out of Mississippi mud pie. All that's left is the Severn sludge souffle."

Scouse For Beginners

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

"Once I have the motor skills, I'll be knee deep in pudding every. Damn. Day."

'You've never planted potatoes before have you?'

'Little is known about these amazing creatures, as there have only been a few live sightings, by giant squid scientists. Despite previous beliefs, they are actually a land animal, as the fins and respiratory system are removable.'

Bake-a-thon.

'As it's your birthday, I think I'll have a pudding.'

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

"Tis the season to be jolly!"

"Not really. I went on the green carpet just before we came out."