Spreadsheet Surfer Gifts

'I did notice a worrying lack of initiative in the way you handled the final figures...'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

Overworked in the office

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

"I'll need some distracting hilarity on the borders of my quarterly report."

'Lou you have never gotten comfy with spreadsheets, have you?'

Company profit making scheme - Jenkins, you owe us £327.95.

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

'Here's the improved margins you said you wanted to see this year, Tom.'